on Wonder

     So I’ve had the meat of this post done for quite a while now. Just needed to dedicate some time to writing this intro, and what better reason to check out the Kaladis by my apartment that I’ve never been to. Nothing like an Americano to get you motivated. I wrote this poem around the time I wrote “Humble Me”, but I felt it needed a proper background.
     My inspiration for this poem came one night in the late Fall while floating on my back in the hot tub, almost completely submerged, looking up at the stars. It is so easy to take for granted what God has created, but all you have to do is take a step out your door (especially in Alaska) to see the beauty. It took me all of about one second to get completely lost in the scenery, and soon became frustrated trying to wrap my mind around it all. I could see God’s handiwork clearly illustrated but wanted instant revelation on life’s deepest questions.
     Insight came a few weeks later when I started reading through Blue Like Jazz. I was already getting all sorts of questions answered that I thought only I was asking. Then I came to the chapter titled “Worship” and what the author, Donald Miller, calls “The Mystical Wonder.” He explains that because God is so much greater than us there are some things the human mind can never fully understand, nor do we need to. Don’s answer is simple enough, just breathe in the wonder of God and let your heart enter into worship. The simple fact that I don’t need to know all the answers has helped me immensely. I would encourage each of you to find something that makes you wonder, and praise God for it. For Don it was making it a point to catch the sunsets over the summer. For me it is skiing until I want to collapse and taking in the grandeur of God’s landscape. I will leave you with this excerpt from Don’s chapter on Worship, “Wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow. I don’t think there is any better worship than wonder.”

Wonder

When I look up to the heavens

I can’t fathom how You created it all in a single breath

When I get lost in the beauty

I have naught to do but worship Your Majesty

I know this world is not my home

I want to be in it, not of it

But how can I love You

If I don’t love what You’ve made?

I enjoy Your creation

And love to revel in it

But I won’t rob You of Your Glory

Or allow it to stray my vision

I worship the Creator not creation

The sand on the shore, stars in the sky

Innumerable, I couldn’t count them if I tried

This makes me feel You’re on a scale too grand

Out of my grasp, something I’ll never understand

For only You can comprehend eternity

And just how much You love me

I forget that You knew me before I was

That the hairs on my head, You know every one

It all points to Your Name

Science wishes it could explain

But only one thing I need to know

That I’ve been purchased by the blood

The only reason I can be called Your Son

on Humility

I guess this isn’t a traditional blog post. Here is a poem I started about a month ago titled “Humble Me.” I decided not to split it up into stanzas, because for me it just reads easier straight through. Humility is not something I proclaim to be perfect at, or even good at. That’s exactly how this poem came about, and I think you will get the most out of it if you read it like a prayer.

O Lord, would You humble me?
So that I might see
People in the light they were meant to be
Not looking down, but looking up
I must first see You before I can love
Not tearing down, but lifting up
Calling out the best in everyone
Father, more of You and less of me
Turn humiliation into humility
The world sees in “strong and weak”
But You see strength in the meek
This if first and foremost a lover’s cry
To lift up Your Name and lay down my pride
With this comes the peace only You can give in life
Where the yoke is easy and the burden is light
Please take me as I am undignified
And accept my body as a living sacrifice

On cruise control

This is my first blog of hopefully many to follow.  I’ve wanted to create one for a while now; it’s sort of an offshore storage facility for all my thoughts that don’t fit well into songs.  My most recent insight occurred on my weekly drive back from the valley back into Anchorage.   Not far you might say, but especially tranquil at night when it’s dark and there isn’t so much traffic around.  Anyway, very shortly into the drive I decided to cruise for a bit, mainly just because I was sick of having my foot on the gas.  Cruise control has its ups and downs for me, which probably sounds ironic because cruise control is supposed to be this steady thing but humor me for a second.  For instance, when you are headed up a hill the RPM’s increase so that you can remain at the same speed.  This is exhilarating because you suddenly feel like you are going much faster and it gives me the feeling that I am no longer in control.  Those of you who know me probably know that I don’t necessary like exhilarating things.  I also like being in control.  For some reason, unbeknownst to me, when my foot is on the gas I feel as if the speed is somehow lessened.  I feel comfortable.  Safe. 

Shortly thereafter I decided to regain control of my journey and revert back to the comfort of having my foot on the gas.  However, I soon realized that I was traveling well above the speed limit (Mom, you didn’t read that), and suddenly saw my road woes in a new light.  My desire for control is a false sense of security.  While under my own guidance I was being more reckless than while under the guide of cruise control.  I feel like many of us, myself included, go through our lives in this fashion.  We shove God aside, put our foot on the gas, and head down the road that we choose at the speed that we want.  God becomes the backseat driver we don’t listen to but blame if something goes wrong.  He is waiting for us to give up the drivers seat and turn on Christ control if you will, because after all He is in control.  It won’t always comfortable, but then again God never promised us a Christian life would be comfortable.  All in all, letting God take control and going along for the ride is more fulfilling and gets us into less trouble and sorrow.  Let me clarify that going along for the ride is not just simply drifting through life, but quite the opposite in fact, I’m talking about embarking on the ride of your life that will take you far from the freeway of complacency and down the narrow dirt road of life.  Driving down our own path towards our own desires can only lead to more problems, much like driving too fast can land you a ticket (which I’m thankful I didn’t receive).  Riding shotgun with Jesus isn’t always comfortable or easy, but I guarantee you it is worthwhile.  He has a sure destination, and we can take hold of every opportunity and have joy in every moment we’re alive.  Needless to say, I took my own insight to heart and embraced my cruise control the rest of the way home, while soaking in the inspired lyrics of Switchfoot.  Cruise control allows me to slow down and take stock of what is important.  I think I could get used to it.